May 2007 Archives

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May 24, 2007

Freak nasty

I saw this message from TwitLit on Twitter today and instantly had a thought about it. But the book the post links to turned out to be something completely different than what I was thinking it may be.

Welcome to the gutter with your host Diane!

May 22, 2007

Feeling grateful

Yesterday, I had a few moments of thought about how fortunate I am in my life to have so much. I generally forget what being blessed is about and need to remember that more often. I am so very fortunate to have the life that I have, despite its imperfections and shortcomings. i have laughter. I have love. I have family. I have opportunity.

I love my life. I'm glad I remembered not to forget that.

May 17, 2007

The me that you know, she had some second thoughts

I have an unusual habit. I read mommy blogs quite a bit, yet the only thing I have in common with most of the women who write these blogs is that we're all mothers. My children are mostly grown. Theirs are mostly under the age of 5. My son will be 24 and my daughter will be 17 this year - memories of breastfeeding and diapers faded from view a long time ago. I guess I admire who these women are. Perhaps it isn't so weird for me to observe their shared lives, as they now are me, once.

These days I find myself looking forward to the next phase of my life. I want some of what I gave up in my 20s. I missed that decade of freedom that is a rite of passage for most. I traded it for motherhood and getting married to a man who wasn't meant to be my forever. Now that I've found a relationship that works for me and a man who nurtures who I am, I'm ready to become more of the women I envision myself to be. This is an awesome gift.

I am becoming. My life is being redefined every minute that I move towards the person who I've often thought about... that person who gave up a scholarship to college and instead opted for marriage and a family... that person who followed her dreams of becoming a writer... that woman who found a stronger calling with technology and the internet... that person who still wonders a lot about what tomorrow holds for her and what she'll become.

In September, I turn 40. This fall, I am going back to school because I want to experience more of what this world has to offer me. I will take more risks and push myself to grow. I will listen and trust my intuition. I will remember that I am a creator and that anything is possible for my life and for me.

Edge pieces, completed. Now it's time to work on the middle of the puzzle.

May 09, 2007

Tooting my own horn

I've been busy at work lately developing my presentation for Educause Southeast. I'm presenting!

I've also decided to pursue my undergraduate degree. At last! I was joking with coworkers yesterday that I do things backwards in my life. First, have a kid and then get married. Second, develop a career and then pursue a college degree. I think after this I'll just start doing it the right way.

Heading down to the Florida Keys this summer on a vacation - ever been? If so, tell me what's good or not good to do!

Toot toot!

May 04, 2007

!!^%@#!@ (and other made up swear words)

I'm irritable.

It's Friday, which is universally known as the day of relaxation and slacking off at work. I needed Friday because Thursday was so incredibly shitty. I woke up this morning and had to talk myself out of bed, talk myself into the shower, talk myself into doing my makeup and hair and talk myself into getting dressed. Then there was the constant talking myself into driving to work.

I made it here only to find that, pardon my language, shit's blown up. Our one systems administrator made the decision that yesterday would be the day he'd make the DNS switch and point to the new web server. A server that only he tested. A server that only he had access to until yesterday. Forget testing to make sure things were working. None of that here! Let's just flip the switch and see what's broken.

Let me just say WHAT THE FUCK. And HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK. And FUCK! I'm irritated that this is the type of environment I work in. I'm irritated that THERE IS NO COMMUNICATION. I'm irritated that THERE IS NO PLANNING. And I'm irritated that my phone is ringing OFF THE FUCKING HOOK with people informing me that things aren't working. YES I KNOW THAT SHIT'S BLOWN UP. I know.

Friday has turned into a Monday or some other day where things just don't go right. I want the madness to end. I want relaxation so I can work on my presentation that I've been procrastinating on. I want the fluorescent lights off because they are burning my eyes. I want to be in my comfy clothes at home with the television on and my husband sitting next to me on his laptop. I want to work with competent people.

Now that I have vented I feel a little better. I think I'll take my iPod and go hide in the bathroom.

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