I have an unusual habit. I read mommy blogs quite a bit, yet the only thing I have in common with most of the women who write these blogs is that we're all mothers. My children are mostly grown. Theirs are mostly under the age of 5. My son will be 24 and my daughter will be 17 this year - memories of breastfeeding and diapers faded from view a long time ago. I guess I admire who these women are. Perhaps it isn't so weird for me to observe their shared lives, as they now are me, once.
These days I find myself looking forward to the next phase of my life. I want some of what I gave up in my 20s. I missed that decade of freedom that is a rite of passage for most. I traded it for motherhood and getting married to a man who wasn't meant to be my forever. Now that I've found a relationship that works for me and a man who nurtures who I am, I'm ready to become more of the women I envision myself to be. This is an awesome gift.
I am becoming. My life is being redefined every minute that I move towards the person who I've often thought about... that person who gave up a scholarship to college and instead opted for marriage and a family... that person who followed her dreams of becoming a writer... that woman who found a stronger calling with technology and the internet... that person who still wonders a lot about what tomorrow holds for her and what she'll become.
In September, I turn 40. This fall, I am going back to school because I want to experience more of what this world has to offer me. I will take more risks and push myself to grow. I will listen and trust my intuition. I will remember that I am a creator and that anything is possible for my life and for me.
Edge pieces, completed. Now it's time to work on the middle of the puzzle.